Melancholy of Insertion
by Crimson Flight
Summary: Self-inserts are usually highly idealised versions of the author. Not this one. Rejoice Fred Wang, for your lowly and irritating self has been chosen to be inserted into the world of Haruhi Suzumiya.


**Melancholy of Insertion**

By Crimson Flight

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><p><strong>The Prologue<strong>

Very rarely does a self-insert garner praise from the masses, for the term 'self-insert' has nearly become synonymous with 'Mary Sue', a type of character that is irrelevantly over-skilled, over-idealised, reference their physical design and strangely important to the plot despite the fact that they are not needed. An example would be Wesley Crusher of Star Trek TNG, who is referred to as a Canon Sue, who is a Mary Sue in a canonical work. However, most Sues are normally found in the realm of fan-fiction, where they are normally Original Characters, with many of them being self-inserts of the author.

Yet sometimes people have managed to craft self-inserts that are actually likeable, and do have the common traits of a Mary Sue. Yes, they may be influential to the plot. Yes, they may have accidentally or purposely changed the entire plot of a series. Yes, they may have prior knowledge of the plot and are trying to change it, but they can actually seem like perfectly normal characters that have their own limitations and weaknesses.

That is what I am currently trying to do – create a self-insert that is realistically portrayed and possesses the limitations of a normal human. They shall be similar to me in personality and appearance, only slightly modified, for one may be able to track down my identity with a description of me, and due to my being paranoid, I shall not provide an exact description of myself for this self-insert. Nor will the age be the same, for to fit in with most fandoms, the characters are normally teenagers around the age of fifteen, which I am not. I am in fact younger, but old enough to actually create an account on several websites. The name of course, will be different too, for many of the adult figures in my life have warned me not to reveal my name in case people decide to track me down.

Anyway, I seem to be getting off topic. As said before, I shall create a perfectly normal albeit slightly modified self-insert of myself, and throw him unprepared into a fandom. By unprepared, I mean that he would not possess anything that could help him in his quest. Yet I shall be somewhat lenient, and shall place most of his stories in fandoms that take place on Earth, for there he can easily live a normal life with his normal family and friends, albeit in an alternate universe.

Now let's get started on constructing him.

The first thing to do when creating a self-insert is to give them a name. Normally this is rather easy, merely given them your own name or modifying it slightly and giving to them. However, I shall not travel this route, for my paranoia of people reading this prevents me from giving him my own name. I'll just name him either Joe or Fred, which are common place-holder names in the UK, Ireland, Australia and New Zealand. Due to being based on myself, he will have to possess a Chinese surname, for I am of Chinese descent. Maybe Fred Wang, for Wang is a somewhat common family name in China, and one of my relatives possesses that surname.

The appearance however, is much harder to create. Picking a name is rather simple, merely randomly thinking up two of them, one for the given name and one for the surname. It would be incredibly tempting to just describe Fred Wang as an average Chinese guy, but it would not be able to paint a picture in the readers' minds on what Fred looks like. He could be fat, skinny, short, tall or even all of them combined! When making characters, one has to properly describe them, but not to the point of describing even the tiniest detail, which happens a lot with Mary Sues.

Our protagonist, Fred, is a rather nondescript looking fifteen/sixteen year old of Asian descent, which is rather similar to my appearance in reality, except for the fact that I'm younger. He possesses black hair and ovalish brown eyes, which is normal for most Chinese people. He's also slightly under the average height for his age, standing around a metre and sixty-five centimetres. His eyebrows are somewhat larger than an average person's, and also possesses slightly larger than normal ears. The defining trait of his appearance would be the fact that he is somewhat skinny and weak looking.

Fred's personality is even harder to pin down. To properly describe someone's personality, one would have to split it into several traits, the first of which is immaturity. He, like me, is rather immature, and lacks much common sense needed to properly survive in a world. He is also rather annoying, having taken a liking to quoting random pop culture references and shouting incredibly loudly. Yet despite these flaws, he is somewhat intelligent, but his laziness prevents him from utilising it properly.

If you have made it this far into the fiction, I salute you for your dedication and determination to plough through several paragraphs of somewhat unnecessary text. There will be no more need for describing Fred any more, for we have completed crafting his person. Only one task remains, and that is to plonk him into a fandom of our choosing.

Choosing a fandom for our protagonist is one of the most simple steps, for it is incredibly easy to merely pick a single piece of fiction you like and insert your character into it. However, many readers of the story may not know of the fandom you have chosen, meaning that you may have to insert him into a more popular world, sometimes having to resort to clichés to actually get them there. Due to the fact that not many popular stories are set in the nation of Australia, I too shall have to utilise these clichés to get Fred Wang to his destination.

Now let us open up the gates of madness, and throw our lowly protagonist into the world I have chosen for him, preferably without making any references to Kamen Rider Decade. Rejoice Fred Wang, for you have been chosen to visit a world that would serve as a proper warm-up for your adventures.

You have been chosen to visit the world of Haruhi Suzumiya.


End file.
